We all need companionship. Without some experience of companionship our lives can become lonely and sad. When John Donne famously said that no man is an island unto himself he was giving expression to the need human beings have to be in relationship. Of course companionship is much more than being social. It is the experience of mutual presence. It is a space where our capacity for life is nourished by others. It creates the possibility of becoming intimate with someone. This is why the type of relationship we call companionship is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give to each other.
There are different descriptions of what companionship actually is. One model is what two people experienced as they travelled from Jerusalem to Emmaus after the death of Jesus. On their journey these two people were joined by an apparent stranger who walked with them. Their relationship with the stranger began with the experience of mutual acceptance and ended with a shared meal. On the road there was attentive listening and soulful conversation.
This is a good example of true companionship. True companionship involves four things. Firstly, it is about acceptance, in fact it is about unconditional acceptance or in the words of Karl Rogers, unconditional positive regard. Unconditional acceptance is the foundation for all forms of companionship. Secondly, companionship requires attentive mutual listening. Yes, mutual listening. Listening needs to be two-way. Thirdly, companionship needs to include what I like to call soulful conversation. Soulful conversation is the kind of conversation that gives expression to the things we carry in our hearts. And finally companionship includes the experience of a shared meal, which is sometimes referred to as table fellowship. Interestingly, the word companion comes from two Latin words ‘cum’ and ‘panis’ which literally mean ‘with bread.’
When we experience companionship in this way the longing within us is satisfied. We know that we are not alone, that we are understood, that we are valued and, perhaps most importantly, that we are loved as we are.