The human heart has a longing for happiness. The difficulty is we end up looking for happiness in the wrong places. This is because we are wounded and under the control of what we call the ego or the false self. Furthermore, the world in which we live is an imperfect place. It is a broken world, a divided world, indeed a cruel world. Our lives are affected by separation and self-interest and the evil we call sin.
One of the things that Mary the Mother of Jesus said to St Bernadette when she appeared to her at the Grotto in Lourdes was: “I do not promise you happiness in this life, only in the next.” Christians believe that our desire for happiness will only be truly fulfilled in God’s other world beyond the grave; in the place we call heaven. When Jesus speaks about happiness his concern is our lasting happiness, our eternal happiness. He often refers to the things that lead to lasting happiness and to the things that do not.
Jesus is clear and sometimes blunt. He tells us not to expect money or possessions or power or fame to make us happy. These things do not satisfy the deeper hungers in our hearts. Building our lives around accumulation and achievement and the constant need for human approval is futile and false. For Jesus what makes us happy is loving relationships. It is the quality of the relationships we have with ourselves, others and God that is the source of true happiness.
Building a relationship with God will certainly make us happy. When we invest time developing a relationship with God we discover that God knows us personally and loves us unconditionally. What is more, we realise that we have no need to prove ourselves to God or indeed to anyone else. Building caring and compassionate relationships with other people will also make us happy. Caring and compassionate relationships are what we long for and what we are made for.
We need to keep reminding ourselves that the only thing we can take with us when we die is the love in our hearts. Everything else will be left behind. Here is how The Little Book of Calm expresses this reality: “If you tend to get too serious about your work or your responsibilities it is good to remind yourself that the most common deathbed regrets have to do with neglected relationships, not unfinished business.”