Providing Soul Space

“You are the light of the world. You are the salt of the earth.”  These are the words of Jesus which we find in the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5:13-14). We may not mind being described as light, but I am not so sure about salt!  Light penetrates the darkness and enables us to see; it gives warmth to the earth and is a source of energy and growth.  Salt is a preservative and a cleanser; it seasons and flavours food.  It might not be good for our cholesterol, but it certainly makes what we eat more tasty and enjoyable.

Jesus compares his followers to light and salt.  Christians are meant to be a leaven in society, a force for good, a positive influence, an effective and enriching presence.  But how do we do this?  By fighting poverty, by working for justice, by acting with honesty and integrity, by showing kindness.  These are the ways the light of Christ shines in the world; these are the ways God’s presence in the world is made tangible.

The Christophers have a saying, “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”  There is no doubting the fact that there are many sources of darkness in our world.  These include poverty, injustice, inequality, discrimination, conflict, violence and war.  Our news bulletins are a constant reminder of this darkness.  In response, we can either allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the darkness and give up or we can choose to do something, however small and insignificant, to overcome it.  We can light a candle.  We can try to practice the values of Jesus in our daily lives.  We must never underestimate the contribution that each one of us can make to the building of God’s Kingdom of justice, peace and compassion in the world.

And if we think we must rely on our own power and strength to be light and salt to the world, think again!  Let’s listen to St Paul describe his own experience: “Far from relying on any power of my own, I came among you in great fear and trembling and in my speeches and the sermons that I gave there were none of the arguments that belong to philosophy; only a demonstration of the power of the Spirit.  And I did this so that your faith should not depend on human philosophy but on the power of God” (1Cor 2: 3-5).  In our efforts to make the world a better place we have the power of God with us and within us at all times.  So let’s claim this power; let’s take possession of it. If we do, we will be light to the world and salt to the earth.

I once had a very wise spiritual director who said to me about himself, “The most necessary thing in my life is sleep; the most important thing in my life is prayer.”  I am sure many of us would agree with his first statement about sleep.  It would be good if we also agreed with his second about prayer.  Prayer was the most important thing in his life because the most important relationship in his life was his relationship with God.

Prayer is an expression of our relationship with God; indeed prayer helps us to grow in our relationship with God.  But who is the God whose friendship and help we experience in prayer?  Jesus calls him Father; in fact he calls him Abba which literally means papa!  To call God Abba means that God is not someone who is remote and distant from us, someone who is uninvolved and uninterested in our lives.  On the contrary, the God of Jesus is a God who knows each of us personally, loves us unconditionally and cares for us faithfully.  The Abba of Jesus is a Father who wants what is best for us as parents want what is best for their children.

So how should we pray to this God who passionately loves us?  Jesus is clear that we should use simple, honest words when we talk to God.  There is no need to babble, to use many complicated words.  The best words are those that come from our hearts.  The best words are those that are an honest expression of what is in our hearts.  What Jesus is asking us to do is talk to God as if we were talking to our best friend.

Jesus is also clear that we should ask God for what it is we need and to keep on asking.  Jesus insists that we persevere in prayer.  Our prayer must be persistent. Jesus assures us that God does answer our prayers of petition, but we must remember that when God answers our prayers he does so in a way that is best for us.  God sees the overall picture of our lives whereas usually we only see the immediate, present really.  When God answers our prayers God has our true good, our lasting good at heart.  It is important that we do not get discouraged if we do not get from God what we ask for.  What we ask for may not be what we truly need at the time.  Our prayers are never wasted on God.  After all, God is our Father.

Some years ago a woman by the name of Teresa came to talk to me about her experience of religion.  She was carrying false and negative images of God.  For her, God was distant and demanding.  He was like a policeman watching to catch her doing something wrong.  He was also like a judge handing out sentences from on high.  Needless to say Teresa was frightened of God and because of this she was finding it difficult to pray.

After listening to Teresa I asked her if she would be willing to try a new way of praying.  I suggested that she spend ten minutes each day picturing in her mind what happened at the Baptism of Jesus. I invited her to do two things.  Firstly, to imagine what it was like for Jesus to hear God the Father say to him, “You are my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased.” Secondly, to imagine that God the Father is saying the very same words to her, “Teresa, you are my beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased.”  I asked Teresa to notice what she was feeling as she heard God the Father telling her that he was pleased with her.

Three weeks later Teresa came back to tell me how she was getting on.  She said she was beginning to experience God differently.  God was becoming easier to relate to.  Rather than feeling that God was disappointed with her, she was starting to feel that God was in fact pleased with her. Indeed, she was beginning to accept that God knew her personally and that he was involved in her life.

The baptism of Jesus took place when he was an adult and it was a very significant event in his life.  During his baptism Jesus had an overwhelming experience of unconditional love.  He knew he was God’s beloved Son.  He also knew that his Father took delight in him. 

What happened to Jesus at his baptism also happened to us at our baptism even though we were children and unaware of it.  As our parents held us over the baptismal font, God the Father said to each of us, “You are my beloved son/daughter in whom I am well pleased.”  Unfortunately, because of life’s negative experiences this is a truth many of us find difficult to accept.  Instead of believing in a loving and affirming God, we find ourselves believing in a demanding and judgemental God.  Like Teresa, we need to find a way of getting rid of our false and negative images of God and of taking possession of the real relationship, the loving relationship, which God has with each of us.  In short, we need to find a way of hearing God’s words of affirmation and approval.  Perhaps a prayer exercise like the one Teresa was willing to try can help us.

A few years ago I had a conversation with a man in his late thirties.  He told me that many of his contemporaries had no real source of guidance in their lives.  “They have no north star,” is the way he put it.  It is certainly true that there is a breakdown of trust in our society.  Many people have lost faith in the major institutions that have been the bedrock of our way of life.  We are missing a moral compass and things like consumerism, individualism and the social media are filling the vacuum. 

On the feast of the Epiphany, sometimes referred to as ‘little Christmas’, we meet three men known as the Magi who had the courage to follow a new star that appeared in the sky.  Their journey brought them to an unfamiliar place and to an unexpected discovery.  They found a child who had come into the world to offer its peoples guidance and hope.  So convinced were they of their discovery that their lives took a whole new direction and were given a new sense of purpose.  It is not surprising we are told that they returned home by a different route (see Matthew 2:1-12).

The truth is there is a moral compass to guide us.  We do have a ‘north star.’  This star is the person of Jesus discovered by the wise men in a stable in Bethlehem.  Jesus is the Word of God who came among us to speak the truth that sets us free. He is the Wise Man who inspires and guides us.  The teachings of Jesus provide us with meaning and give purpose and direction to our lives.    

Let’s not allow the failures of the Church and her ministers prevent us from hearing the message of Jesus.  The Church in her weakness may confuse and disappoint us, but Jesus will not.  He has words of comfort and hope, words that will change the way we see God, ourselves, other people and the world around us.  Peter once said to Jesus, “Lord, who else is there to go to; it is you who have the words of eternal life” (see John 6:68).  Jesus is still the only one who can offer us the message of eternal life. It is he who is our ‘north star.

Horror gripped the heart of a World War I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he could go out into the man’s land between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back. “You can go,” said the Lieutenant, “but I don’t think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away.” The Lieutenant’s words didn’t matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company’s trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, and then looked kindly at his friend.  “I told you it wouldn’t be worth it,” he said. “Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded.”  “It was worth it? Sir,” said the soldier. “What do you mean by worth it?” responded the Lieutenant. “Your friend is dead.” “Yes Sir,” the private answered, “but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say….”Jim… I knew you’d come.”

This is a true and moving story.  It is a story about friendship.  It is also a story about the nature of compassion.  Compassion is more than doing deeds of kindness for people who are in need.  It is more than fixing people.  It is more than finding solutions for those who have problems.   In essence compassion is about being there for people without pulling back in fear or anger. 

Christmas is about compassion.  At Christmas we celebrate the birthday of Jesus.  In Jesus, God chose to enter into our human condition to be with us, to walk along side us.  When Jesus was born into our world, God not only became one of us, God also became one with us.  On that first Christmas God threw in his lot with us and risked facing the terrible consequences.   The God we proclaim at Christmas is a God who is truly compassionate.  Christmas is a good time to say to God, “Because you are compassion, we knew you’d come!”

We all need some hope in our lives.  People look for hope in different places.  One place to look is the Gospel.  During the few weeks into Christmas we celebrate the season of Advent.  The season of Advent is often called the season of hope.  So what kind of hope does Advent offer us?

Advent is clear that no matter what we are going through, no matter what difficulties and problems we are dealing with, things will eventually get better.  Sooner or later things will improve.  There is a brighter future.  According to Advent, God will see to it that the good will win out, that light will dispel the darkness, that rough ground will become smooth.  The reason for this hope is the utter fidelity of God.  God is faithful to His creation, especially to His people.  God is not going to abandon what God has created and redeemed.  The coming of Jesus into the world is proof of that.

Advent also reminds us that we do in fact already possess a treasure. This treasure is not a treasure made of silver and gold.  It is the treasure of love and it is to be found inside us.  Inside us there is a Presence living and loving.  This Presence is the Presence of Unconditional Love. Because of it we do not need to look for happiness in things outside ourselves, in things like possessions and work and the approval of other people.  Because of it we can love ourselves as we are and grow in self-worth.  The greatest love of all is to be found within.  Advent invites us to look for it there with confidence. 

According to Advent another source of hope is in fact our dependency.  We must be willing to seek and accept the help of others, including the help of Jesus.  Going it alone and attempting to sort out our problems by ourselves does not work.  This is called self-sufficiency and it is a form of pride.  We need others and they need us.  We also need Jesus.  There is something liberating about our willingness to acknowledge that we are helpless and powerless.  This is the foundation of the AA recovery programme.  It is also the basis for creating real community between people.  And perhaps this is what we need more than anything else as we face the future – a recovery of the sense of community.  We are here to look after each other, not just to look after ourselves.  When our lives are built around genuine care and concern for others then there is always hope.

If there was one prayer you were given the opportunity to make what would that prayer be?  For some people the prayer they would choose is the request of the man known as the Good Thief as he hung on the cross next to Jesus on Good Friday: “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

This short prayer is both powerful and beautiful.  It is a prayer that is inside each and every one of us.  It is a prayer that is deep in our hearts.  Perhaps this is the reason why some people are not able to express it until the twelfth hour of their lives.  “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom,” is a simple and honest request to Jesus not to forget me, not to overlook me, not to exclude me, not to condemn me, but to grant me a place, any place, in his kingdom.

Why is this prayer made to Jesus?  Because Jesus is King of the eternal kingdom which we desire to belong to.  Jesus is the one who rules over us.  He is the one whom God the Father has appointed judge of the living and the dead.  He is the one to whom we will give an account of ourselves when we die.  This is why on the last Sunday of the annual church year the Christian community celebrates the feast of Christ the King.

But what kind of King is Jesus?  We get some idea from his response to the request of the Good Thief: “Indeed I promise you, today you will be with me in paradise.”  These are not the words of someone who is critical and judgemental.  They are the words of someone who is compassionate and forgiving.  Jesus wants us to be with him in his kingdom.  Indeed, he does everything he can to make sure that we will be with him in his kingdom.  This is why the poet Francis Thompson described him as the Hound of Heaven.

When we are able to pray the words, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom,” with conviction, we can be confident that Jesus, our King, will respond to us in the same way he responded to the Good Thief on the cross: “Indeed I promise you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

I once heard God compared to a mother who took her three young children to the seaside on a summer’s day.  The children spent most of their time on the beach playing in the sand.  Each of them built a sandcastle, according to his or her ability.  When they had finished their work, their mother came to look at what they had done.  She praised each of them individually for their achievements.  On returning home the mother fed her children, washed them and put them to bed.  Then she sat down to relax.  She was happy with the day at the seaside; pleased that her children enjoyed themselves on the beach and that they were safe.  And in the meantime the tide came in and washed away the sandcastles her children had built.

It is November.  It is the month when we remember the dead and when we think about our own death.  For all of us life is passing; it is transient.  Death is inevitable.  We have here no lasting city.  The thought of our mortality at wintertime gives us an opportunity to get things in perspective.

To get things in perspective it is helpful to ask ourselves some questions. One question we could do to ask ourselves during November is this: What will we have to leave behind us when our earthly life is over?  Among the things we will definitely leave behind are the sandcastles we have built.  Our sandcastles are more than the buildings we own.  They are our projects, our investments, our businesses, our wealth, even our achievements.  All these things may have preoccupied us in life, but they will be of little benefit to us in death.

Another question November brings is one that gets to the heart of the meaning of life.  What will we take with us when our time in this world is over?  The poet William Blake provides the answer: “We are put on earth a little space that we might learn to bear the beams of love.” What will endure are the relationships we have built, including our relationship with God.  Relationships are the most important thing in life.  It is the investment we make in relationships that we will take with us into God’s other world beyond the grave.  It is love and only love that will last.  When we meet the Lord face to face in death the thing he will look for is the love in our hearts.

So, “if you tend to get overly serious about your work and your responsibilities remind yourself that the most common deathbed regrets have to do with neglected relationships, not unfinished business” (The Little Book of Calm).

Low self-esteem is very common in our culture.  Within most of us there are powerful negative voices telling us that we are not good enough.  It is absolutely essential that shame does not become the only experience we have of ourselves.   We need to find a way that will allow us to experience ourselves differently.  

One way can be summed up in the three rhyming words: name, claim, tame.  We begin by naming our unfulfilled longing.  There is deep longing in every human heart.  It is difficult to know what this longing is about.  Not only can it take time for us to acknowledge our longing.  It can also take time to discover what it is for.  Eventually we come to realise that our unfulfilled longing is a longing for unconditional love.  Each and every one of us needs to know that we are loved and lovable as we are.

The good news of Jesus is that unconditional love is available to us.  Unconditional love is available to us in the relationship that God has with each of us.  God who is love, loves us as we are, without conditions, without expectations, without requirements.  This is the core truth of the Christian Gospel, beautifully described by the late Henri Nouwen as our belovedness.  But it remains academic unless we claim it.  Sooner or later we need to start claiming the unconditional love that is inside us.

Claiming our belovedness is one thing.  We also need to tame what we call the ego or the false self.  The false self is built around conditional love.  It keeps us in the bondage of accumulation, achievement and the need for human approval.  Because of it we tend to find our value in what we have, in what we do and in what other people think of us. Taming the false self is a process of awareness and surrender.  First, we recognise the many subtle and manipulative ways the false self is at work in ourselves and in the world around us.  Then, we invite the Holy Spirit to tame the power of the false self.  Only the Holy Spirit, the Spirit that unites Jesus and his Father, can break the control which the false self has over us.

If we name our unfulfilled longing, claim our belovedness and tame the ways our false self is active in our lives, we will begin to experience ourselves in a positive and liberating way.  

Jesus has been described as a man of prayer and a man of compassion.  This is certainly the way he comes across in the Gospel.  Indeed, for Jesus prayer and compassion were like twin sisters that could not be separated.  

Jesus needed time to be alone.  He needed times of quiet, of silence in his life.  These times of silence gave him the opportunity to pray, to nourish his relationship with the one whom he called Abba.  For Jesus, times of silence were an experience of solitude.  In the silence he was intimate with Abba.  Times of silence were so important to Jesus that he was prepared to get up very early in the morning to have them.

Jesus was also a man of compassion.  He responded to human need when he found it, in the form he found it.  Jesus was deeply aware of the burdens that people were carrying, of the pain, sickness and anxiety in the lives of those he came into contact with.  Jesus not only sympathised with people, he also empathised with them.  His own humanity enabled him to know the humanity of others.  Jesus’ struggle with his own human weakness allowed him to understand what human weakness can do to the lives of others.  “For the high priest we have is not incapable of feeling our weaknesses with us, but he has been tempted in exactly the same way as ourselves” (Heb 4:15).

The word connect is used a lot nowadays to describe the benefits of the internet and the mobile phone.  In our modern world we certainly have a variety of types of connection.  But not all of these bring depth to our relationships.  Prayer enabled Jesus to connect with his Father at a deep level.  Compassion enabled him to connect with other people at a deep level.  The human heart is made for deep connection.  We are made for friendship, friendship with God, friendship with our sisters and brothers.  Prayer feeds our friendship with God; compassion feeds our friendships with other people.  We can learn from the life of Jesus about the importance of prayer and compassion. We can also learn from Jesus not to separate these two beautiful and life-giving sources of connection.