It seems to me that much of religious practice is about our attempts to earn God’s approval and God’s favour. We use rituals and good works to win God’s love. We see these rituals and good works as requirements for pleasing God. But there can also be something else about our religious practice, something perhaps more subtle. It is this. Our religious practice can make us feel that we are better than others. It can feed our egos.
This seems to be what the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector is about. The Pharisee was trying to earn God’s love by pointing out all the meritorious things he was doing. But he was also judging the tax collector beside him. In his prayer he said to God, “I am doing good things, this tax collector isn’t. I am better than him. I deserve your love, he doesn’t.” In contrast, the tax collector’s prayer was very different. He said to God, “I am a failure. I haven’t done anything to deserve your love. Have mercy on me. I need you to love me unconditionally.”
Interestingly, what Jesus describes in the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector is the very same thing he describes in the story of the father and his two sons, known as the Story of the Prodigal. In this story the elder son who was the dutiful, obedient and dependable son said to his father, “Look, for years, I have done all these things for you. But my wasteful and reckless brother, your youngest son, has done absolutely nothing. I am better than him. I have earned your love, he hasn’t.” In contrast, the younger son said to his father, “I have made a mess of my life, I have lost all the money you gave me, I have failed, I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” What was the father’s response to both? It was this: “Neither of you have to earn my love. It is free. My love for you is gift, not achievement. It is unconditional.”
We are all carrying a very deep wound within us. It is the wound of conditional love. This wound is the cause of our low self-esteem. It makes us feel bad about ourselves. It creates our negative attitudes towards others. It also has us believe that love is not free, that it has to be earned. In the religion of Jesus God’s love is pure gift, offered without conditions and requirements. If we are taking Jesus seriously we need to stop trying to earn God’s love because we do not need to earn God’s love. Jesus is adamant: “My Father’s love is not something that can be earned. It is something that you just need to accept. Let yourself be loved freely. If you don’t, you may end up arrogant like the Pharisee and angry like the elder son.”
Only unconditional love can heal the wound of conditional love. True religion is about exposing ourselves to the unconditional love of God. This is the religion of Jesus.